This post is for our parents. Parents: please leave us alone.
We love you. We appreciate everything that you have done for us and the sacrifices you made to make sure we are taken care of and making sure we are on the right path to succeed in life.
And we understand how you want to set us up for success and help try the best career choice, whether that be a part-time, entry-level position or higher. However, you need to know when to take a step back and to stop adding so much pressure to us when it comes to seeking a job.
Sometimes the advice you give can be belittling and make us feel like we're two feet tall. It feels as if you are discounting our successes, no matter how big or small. We try our best to hold our tongue, but being pushed by you and our growing frustration leads to all of our thoughts and emotions we had bottled up, being let out. You're not letting us go through our trials and errors on our own.
This is a feeling of being watched by a helicopter. Continuously followed and not being able to run and hide from it. And we hate it. It does not help us find a job quicker. From my experiences, it adds more stress and frustration.
You fail to realize how much harder it is for us to get our foot through the door than it was for you. A lot of these entry-level positions expect us to have some experience already. They want you to be knowledgeable and ready right now. For us who have the experience but are not quite the candidate these companies are looking for, it is taking us a little longer to get a solid footing, but we will get there.
Coming out of college, I was suggested and harassed about applying to work for the state. I heard the sales pitch of how much their employees make, and how easy it is to get in and everything. But it didn't resonate with me. And the topic would continuously be brought up even when I said I wasn't interested. This is not a shot at people who work for the state, but if I am not interested in a job, then I shouldn't be pressured to apply knowing I will not enjoy it, or because my parents want me to.
Understand parents, some of us do not want to move back home for the remainder of our lives. Some of us want to branch out and live in other cities to see what it is like, and if it is for us. The idea of wanting us to find a job back home, work a couple of years and then move to a new place works. If push comes to shove and the opportunity presents itself where a new job is in a different city, we have to take it.
And yes, we are aware that in some of the bigger cities the cost of rent and other expenses is higher, but we need to be challenged and do what is best for me. Staying in our hometown might be best. We need to leave and see what else is out there instead of playing it safe all the time.
The bottom line is this. Stop adding constant pressure to an already stressful situation. We have to learn to do things for ourselves. To take chances to try new things and figure out what is best for us. You do not make decisions for us anymore.
Be aware that the job market has changed and it is taking some of us a little while longer to have a job secured. It will happen, but the continuous asking and breathing down our necks needs to end. Ask yourself this question: are you doing this to help your child, or is this for you?
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